How to Build Confidence When Dating Beautiful Women

As you all know, City Girls takes gorgeousness to a whole new level when it comes to ravishing independent escorts. No matter where you select your next date, if you are the type of gentleman who gets weak at the knees in the face of beauty then this article is for you.

young couple hobbyist and escort at bar counter talking

Your pockets may be deep but your self-esteem is delicate

When it comes to financial net worth, you are a superhero! You are a money-making machine with the Midas touch — except when it comes to that stunner of an escort that you can’t resist dating. For some gents (and this just might be you), Junior does not speak big bucks and thus may opt to ‘take the night off’ just when you need him most. Since the male gender cannot fake performance, there are certain practices that will calm the nerves thus, opening the doors to that libido dying to get out.


Adopt a form of meditation prior to your date

You’d be surprised at the effectiveness of deep breathing before you get out of the car to meet that bombshell blonde. Simply close your eyes, turn off your phone and breathe slowly and deeply with all focus on the breath. Do this for approximately five minutes. Release the mind and tell yourself what a handsome gent you are. The results are profound. If you are the sipping type, toast over a glass of your favorite beverage after greeting your luscious muse, just to break the ice and ease the self. (We don’t condone getting tipsy so it’s best not to get out of hand.)

Accept your physique for what it is

Let’s face it. The average man is not the picture perfect cover boy of Men’s Health Magazine. Keeping long hours at the office and dining out frequently equal junk in the gut. Throw in happy hour every now and then with your colleagues and after some time, you might not like what you see in the mirror. Guys: life gets in the way of the ideals that we formed in our minds ages ago about how perfect we should look. The reality is that no physique is perfect. Women and especially independent escorts tend to be quite accepting of a man’s imperfections. You have permission to accept your body for what it is.

Pump up the hygiene

No matter how many muscles you’ve got (or don’t have), without stellar hygiene, you will be deemed unattractive by your date. This is a no brainer, folks and an area in which you can truly build confidence. Companions are more concerned about your hygiene than your six pack or lack thereof. Here are a few pointers:

• Start with a precision haircut done by an expert;
• Always be freshly showered and clean cut (North and South);
• Don’t wear cheap cologne. Invest in a bottle of designer something – Creed, Tom Ford, Armani, Versace (these high end scents are made with known aphrodisiacs and they work. Your date will climb all over you);
• Get a manicure. Seriously, dude. That succulent escort is going to look at your cuticles;
Brush your teeth and invest in a pack of minty gum to keep those kisses comin’ on.

hobbyist hygiene
Set of different Hobbyists cosmetics

Pay attention to [clothing] detail

The best way to increase your insecurity it to dress is a frumpy manner. If you are one of those gents who doesn’t place too much value in your appearance – news flash: your clothing matters and your self-esteem will sky rocket as a result. If you haven’t got a clue about fashion, visit a department store such as Nordstrom or Saks where customer service is tailored to suit your looks. If you are so inclined, splurge and visit a Gucci, Brooks Brothers or Ralph Lauren boutique and let them adorn you in manly attire that best matches your personal style. A nice pair of loafers and a neat belt are big assets, much like the ones on your evening tryst that you can’t wait to get your hands on. Thank us later.

Become the consummate gentleman

Aaaah, here we get to talk about the holy grail of your confidence and golden rule of successful dating. No matter how pimped out is your wardrobe, how buffed are your nails or how sizeable is your package, manners are the be-all and end-all of a prized engagement. Every single escort you will ever date looks for this and if you are that consummate gentlemen, she’ll rave about you. Let us turn you on to a few pointers:

• Greet her with a proper salutation – doesn’t have to be mushy or overly formal;
Open and hold the door for her;
• At dinner, when she has to visit the ladies room, stand when she does; when she returns, stand again and pull out her seat before she sits down;
• When strolling down the street, walk on the outside. Companions notice this detail especially;
• After your date ends, send a short text (if you have her mobile) later that evening thanking her for such a splendid evening.

Seek companions who are kind and empathetic

Gold diggers, shiny bimbos with plastic personalities and fakers who can’t wait to finish your date are probably not model escorts for you. You are the kind of man who benefits from a gentle touch from a companion who has compassion for people in general. Find an escort who actually enjoys being with you for the man that you are. When you find this combination, behold the sparks that will fly in the boudoir as your confidence soars to heaven. Again and again.

Mastering the Art of Confidence

The websites of most independent escorts talk somewhere about confidence as one of the traits that attracts ladies most in gentlemen. If you are a hobbyist with confidence, you can skip this article and go to the next. But if confidence is not an attribute at the top of your list keep reading. As a man, if you are not self-assured then you should act like it. Cross the line and you can come off as cocky which is just as unappealing as being insecure. Where does a guy draw the line without getting frustrated with his efforts?


Why all the hype about confidence, anyway?

Confidence is the state or quality of being certain about yourself. It is an attitude, a sort of cool demeanor to which people (not only women) gravitate. It is a charismatic energy that women like to be around. Confidence is not something that you can buy but there are things that you can improve that can enhance your confidence. If you are unsure of your physical appearance going to the gym, jogging or power walking are great ways to jump start your confidence. Exercise is proven to make one feel better. Treating yourself to a fresh, new item of clothing will add a splash of poise while saying that you care about your appearance.

Be confident not pompous

Men who are deeply insecure may come off as cocky in their efforts to feign confidence, an act of truly obnoxious illusion. An attitude of self-importance, condescension or patronizing independent escorts (or people in general for that matter), bragging and boasting about wealth and material items are all fatal attempts at impressing others. A smart and confident companion with any amount of self-respect (the most attractive type!) will detect such dysfunction. As a hobbyist, you do not need to be rude, insensitive, materialistic or misogynistic to compensate for lack of confidence. Appealing to escorts worth spending girlfriend-quality time with is about being forthright, ambitious and smart. Oh, and a delicious scent on your skin will only provide bonus points!

You don’t have to be a macho superman with a big bank account

A sense of confidence comes with conviction, not necessarily a high net worth. The confident man is cool, collect, composed and stands up for his beliefs. He certainly does not talk down to others much less women or escorts. In essence he is a gentleman. Confidence and chivalry are valuable traits that do not rely on money.

What are the signs of confidence?

The confident hobbyist is the man who likes himself. As such, he does not have to be macho, rich, into sports or a collector of exotic cars. He is comfortable with who he is, what he likes and his overall lot in life. We all have our good days and our bad days. The sign of a confident man is most easily recognized by the one who is a gentleman.

5 Ways to Destroy Your First Impression with an Escort

As a hobbyist, you may have a misconception that scheduling a date with an escort gives you card blanche to disregard all social rules.

Yes, she is going to accommodate you to the best of her talents and even cause you to believe that you are king of her world for the time being. Chances are excellent that you will experience an amazing encounter, no matter what, especially with a City Girls’ independent escort. This article speaks to those gentlemen who sincerely want to take their date with an independent escort to the ultimate level. Why experience ecstasy when you can achieve nirvana? That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

Being rude to an escort is the same as disrespecting any human being

I’m afraid that there are hobbyists who frequent the company of independent escorts solely to take out their frustrations (I’ll spare the psychological term) onindependent escorts. In the process, they give a bad rap to the hobbyists who are consummate gentlemen. Rude, dysfunctional hobbyists, did you know that it is much more affordable to seek the attention of a therapist (not to mention far more constructive) than it is to offend and disrespect an escort whose goal it is to entertain and make you happy? It is far more favorable and mentally healthy to be a gentleman. I rest my case.

Excessive shyness comes across as creepy and repulsive

Perhaps you are a man who has not had the best of luck with women in your life. Maybe you have been rejected and your ego crushed. Understandably, such experiences can warp your psyche at the expense of self confidence. But the cold, hard truth is that women value confidence. There is a fine line between subtle shyness that is sexy and introversion that is revolting. In all tenderness, if you are such a hobbyist, it is best to seek the company of an independent escort who is deeply compassionate and tender. Such a companion can re-build the manliness in you are restore that valued self-esteem.

Faking your personality is a total turnoff

The age old adage of ‘being yourself’ plays big here. Insecurity is diligently at work beneath a hobbyist who feels compelled to falsely represent himself especially he seeks the girl friend experience. If you are a hobbyist into the porn star experience then your personality probably doesn’t matter since connection beyond skin deep is not a factor. But if you are a gentleman who tends to connect even a little and you fake it, eventually the true you will come out if you repeat time with the same independent escorts. Shed your armor and know that City Girls’ independent escorts are extremely compassionate and understanding not to mention ridiculously sexy!

Arriving un-showered and ill-dressed sets the worst impression

Getting the most mileage out of your date represents value. While your work day may have been long and stressful with little time left for showering and freshening up, arriving stale and stinky is not going to kindle the kind of attraction on the part of your companion for which you aspire. Further, not upholding your engagement with the dignified presentation that it deserves will adversely impact the mind set of any independent escort. If you must, communicate to your date by phone while on your way that you need a few minutes to shower and freshen up. She will appreciate it and you will benefit from the results!

Don’t assume what she wants

Independent escorts – just as all women – are not only attracted to men with six packs, nice cars and million dollar incomes. That’s not what it’s necessarily about. A true gentleman is defined by many more qualities that independent escorts recognize especially when it comes to the girlfriend experience. Optimize the quality of your dating experience by being genuinely interested in what your companion thinks and has to say. If you date an independent escort with whom you don’t entirely ‘click’, learn from the experience and find a lady who compliments you!

Flirt, fantasize, fall in lust – the choices are yours

There is a reason why it’s called the hobby. City Girls understands that you as a hobbyist engage in the company of independent escorts for a variety of reasons which include pleasure, emotional and psychological fulfillment. We encourage you to make the most of your dating experiences by following our advice. We’ve got you covered!

Skills of Manliness – What Impresses Women

Whether he says it openly or not, every hobbyist wants to feel that he truly turns on his companion and that he satisfies her in more ways than one. However, it can be frustrating that every woman differs in what she finds masculine and attractive.

There are some basic skills that a hobbyist can adopt if he is willing to try. In the end, a happy date means that both parties are satisfied!

Learn to be a great conversationalist

In addition to just talking, being a good listener and genuinely paying attention to your date are traits that make the good conversationalist a skill irresistible by women. Displaying confidence and showing empathy is a learned practice that will bring any hobbyist immeasurable results with his woman. However, a gentleman must remember that he is talking to a woman, not one of his buddies or colleagues. The hobbyist who knows how to clearly express himself will become hugely attractive to any independent escort.

Dancing oozes sexiness

It’s not that dancing is so difficult. As long as you move to the rhythm of the music even just a little, not much skill is required. The trick is not feeling shy but easygoing and having the confidence all at once. The hobbyist who is even slightly skilled in dancing is one who is open and approachable to his date. Watch the sparks fly!

Speaking more than one language is a huge plus

There are tons of resources available on You Tube and on the internet that provide free or paid language learning programs. Time is the biggest investment. But even being slightly conversational in a language other than your native tongue is a sign that a hobbyist is dedicated and worldly. Just watch an independent escort respond. How sexy is that?

Jet setters tend to attract elite courtesans

Most independent escorts love to travel. Elite courtesans are drawn to extended dates with gentlemen who travel regularly. They are generally quite skilled and fashionable when interacting in impromptu situations, sure to make the traveling hobbyist confident and proud in her presence.

City Girls is looking out for you

While you may be the kind of hobbyist who simply leaves everything up to the independent escort, we believe that making the most of whom and what you are will only ensure synchronicity and more pleasure in the end. Whether or not you choose to follow any of our tips, show a bit of your softer side as a man and your dates will flourish. You can thank us later.

KamaSutra: Living the Sensuous Lifestyle, Part 1

It is true that The KamaSutra is a sex manual instrumental for those who want to get it on with their partner. But it is much more than that.

The KamaSutra is not only the Hindu guide to lovemaking, but considered a masterpiece about human sexual behavioretiquette and relationships. It is the perfect point of reference for every independent escort and hobbyist who want to become connoisseurs of sensual pleasure. There are several themes that weave the fabric of The KamaSutra. Let’s take a cursory look at some of them:

Confidence prevails over sexual prowess

It is not about how good a man is at pleasing his lover but about how he can build confidence in hispartner. A man who builds confidence in his partner will make her more receptive to his advances. This is his primary responsibility when seducing his lover. Roles are reversed with regard toindependent escorts. The KamaSutra believes that courtesans (or companions) are necessary components of society to build men’s confidence (this subject will be explored in a future article).

Persistence will win a woman

The KamaSutra preaches persistence over “easy” love, natural mates and biological instinct. Whether a hobbyist or not, a man should realize that every woman requires persistent attention to break down her defenses and win her over. What better way to enhance intimacy? While viewed as discriminatory by some, learning the lessons of The KamaSutra will enable a man to get any woman he wants.

Love is a game

Winning the affection of your partner is a sort of dance, a game to be played wherein loversmanipulate each other. While a man should show off in front of his woman and pretend not to like her, he should persistently offer signs of affection to build her confidence. On the other hand, an independent escort should shower a hobbyist with attention to demonstrate that he is the only one for her as long as they are together. It is even better when her affections are natural!

The four types of love

There is love by habit, love by imagination(possibly infatuation), mutual love and love that is not categorized. The latter is considered to be the most powerful of all. I would venture to say that love by imagination characterizes someescort/hobbyist relationships in the form of intoxicating lustful infatuation.

Learn the principals that support living a sensuous lifestyle

City Girls believes that understanding the inner workings of human sexual behavior taught by The KamaSutra will ultimately enhance and enrich relationships between independent escorts and hobbyists. We can all benefit from a sense of freedom that exists when our sexuality is liberated!

Mastering Charisma: How to Make Women Fall for You, Part II

Last month we talked about the power of charisma and how a man can have women falling at his feet. In this article, we will delve a little deeper into attaining this powerful, unseen dynamic called charisma.

Become aware of how you sound and come across to others

The morning began with traffic resulting in tardiness at your first meeting. The day proceeds with skipping lunch and ends with a headache. For a hobbyist, this scenario is certainly not a precursor for an upbeat mood when meeting with an independent escort. What you say and how you come across may be muddied by your attitude without even realizing it. Of course, she is going to relax you and make you feel better and then some. However, as a hobbyist you want her to like you and desire you. Now more than ever is the time to be aware of your disposition and try a little harder to watch your words and tone of voice. Your efforts will pay off tenfold!

Optimize your posture

Poor posture suggests many things: bad attitude, insecurity, lack of confidence, even discontent. As a hobbyist, you do not need to be Brad Pitt to radiate charisma with goodposture and it doesn’t matter how much you weigh. Practicing good posture is actually pretty easy but takes a little conscientiousness, especially if you are a sloucher. Pull your shoulders back. Lengthen your neck and keep your chin up. Be aware of when the old posture sets in (and it will for a while) and consciously correct yourself. This is a million dollar tip!

Smile and make eye contact

You may be thinking, “But I don’t like my smile. I am self-conscious because of my teeth” or something of that nature. The purpose of a smile is not to convey that you had braces or just had your teeth whitened. A smile is a priceless form of electric magnetism that will always, I repeat, always draw an escort to your side. Women love men who smile. Heck, men love women who smile! A smile communicates confidence, warmth, openness, approachability and sexiness. A hobbyist who can use smiling to his advantage (in all genuineness, of course) will win the heart of his companion every time!

Give her the opportunity to meet you

There are certain gestures and objects that can communicate defensiveness when meeting with another person. For example, standing at a bar facing the counter conveys that you are unapproachable; stand facing away from the bar. Conversing with your arms crossed over your chest conveys arrogance or defiance. Turning your back to reach for an object (such as a cocktail on the table) can make your date feel awkward. As ahobbyist, try to stay open and disarming when meeting with an independent escort and reap the benefits of your efforts.

Success with charisma is at your fingertips

At City Girls, we believe that for hobbyists and independent escorts alike, all things are attainable if you want them badly enough. By studying these basic yet powerful tips and with a little effort, achieving charisma will certainly bring many happy endings!

Boundaries in Relationship with escorts

How can you enjoy the hobby without establishing healthy boundaries? Knowing your limits will allow you to relax and let go!

Good communication skills are essential when asserting your boundaries, lending the tools to communicate likes and dislikes with your partner.

Every interaction is a relationship on some level

Let us first understand the exact definition of a relationship: a connection or association; a particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other; a romantic or sexual involvement. A relationship can begin with little more than an interaction or carry on for a lifetime and every integer in between.

Why would anyone facilitate a ‘bad’ relationship? Such behavior invites bad karma. At the risk of sounding cynical, I question the intent of the hobbyist who is disrespectful or at a minimum, unpleasant. Perhaps he should switch his hobby to basketball and shoot a few hoops, instead. When dating independent escorts, defining a clear understanding of your relationships is the premise to setting your boundaries.

The power of non verbal communication

A hobbyist can shout his purpose without words through body language. It is just that powerful. By the same token, a gentleman can convey his boundaries to a companion in the way

that he carries himself. It is all part of the communication. Understanding your boundaries will be reflected in your body language.

Understand the needs and interests of your partner

As a hobbyist, whether you are dating an independent escort for sixty minutes never to see her again or engaging with a longer term companion, you are dealing with another human being. From a purely selfish standpoint, gaining insight into her immediate needs and interests will benefit your overall experience. After all, pleasure is at the root of your enjoyment. When you understand where she is coming from, you will be better able to assess your personal boundaries, setting the relationship in the right direction. At best, when an independent escort also benefits from and enjoys the experience, it is a win-win situation!

Build rapport and trust

One important component of an independent escort’s job is to establish rapport which in turn develops trust. At the same time, she looks for cohesion with a hobbyist, mutual attention and positivity. She immediately sets out to discover her client’s boundaries so that she can proceed with the relationship. If she is all about the girl friend experience, her goals are even more pronounced. All of the above may occur in the first five minutes of your acquaintance or over a period of time. As a hobbyist, when you know your boundaries, you can reciprocate with confidence so that the two of you are synchronized and relate well to each other. The end result is a sense of trust which is the basis for a rewarding escort/hobbyist relationship.

Reap the benefits

Every relationship, even on the most superficial level, is all about give and take. Establishing boundaries will enable a sense of how a hobbyist and independent escort can relate to each other. As a hobbyist, when you assert your personal guidelines or limits, you are letting your companion know what is reasonable, safe and permissible to you. She will respond favorably and within those limits, less likely to step outside of your boundaries.

Mastering Charisma: How to Make Women Fall For You, Part I

One of the keys to mastering charisma is embracing who you are with grace and acceptance. Every person whether hobbyist or escort is gifted with talents and attributes that support the highest self.

Recognize without criticism or judgment who you are and who you are not. Getting into the habit of reflecting on the beauty within you will create magical results. Falling into the trap of self-criticism is poison to charisma.

I thought it would be fun to touch on just a few factors that play into the development of charisma. This is such a juicy topic I know that there will be a part II for all hobbyists and independent escortswho want to make the most of their interactions.

Find out and like the real you

Identifying your best qualities and capitalizing on them is the first step toward increasing positive energy. When you are able to look in the mirror and view yourself without judgment you are giving yourself a platform from which to grow. No one is perfect and when you accept that you give yourself the freedom to be who you really are.

Who are you at your best?

Self-awareness is critical. Think of when you are your best. Are you calm, confident, clear-minded, outgoing? What are the differences in your behavior? Usually, a person will communicate better on their best day. How do you treat yourself? How does your inner dialogue differ? Compare and contrast your best days and your worst days and focus on traits of the good days.

Learn what your body language is saying

When we were children, some of us may remember when our mothers told us to “keep your chin up”. Your mouth is not the only part of your body that talks. How you carry yourself tells a big story whether subliminal or obvious. Hobbyists who want to impress their companions know that maximizing body language is one of the most important factors. Projecting positive body language starts long before you walk out the door. Worrying about how your clothes fit or the way your hair looks will project an air of anxiety and unfriendliness. Wearing the right clothing and taking the time to care for your hair (and skin) will all exude confidence which play into charisma. As simple as this may sound, always, always stand up straight! I think our mothers told us this millions of times when we were children. How right they were!

Be nice AND interesting

The hobbyist who is nice and interesting will surpass by zillions of miles the hobbyist who feels righteous by being stuck up or arrogant. It takes a much bigger person with humility to be nice. If you feel that you are not interesting, target some objects of interest and study up. Current events, social events, books, sports, philanthropy (a lot of companions are really into this), fashion and culture are just a few. A gentleman who is nice and interesting is one of the sexiest creatures on earth to hisescort friends. Can you think of anything more charismatic?

City Girls wants all of you to radiate charisma!

I could talk about this subject for days! But I think that the topics discussed will give all you hobbyists and independent escorts enough to chew on until the sequel in just a few weeks.

Claiming Your Inner Sex Goddess

Ladies, our sex goddess is within all of us. She is our guiding intuition, our sense of self and moral and behavioral compass. Sex goddess within enables us to enjoy life as confident, capable, sacred and savvy human beings.

A sex goddess is a female deity that is a natural being with superhuman powers and qualities thought to be divine and sacred bringing humans to new levels of consciousness. In Tibetan Buddhism, the highest achievement any person can acquire is to become like the ‘great’ female Buddhas who are depicted as supreme protectors, fearless and filled with compassion for all beings.

What makes a sex goddess?

A sex goddess does not let it all hang out. She is well-mannered and never absentminded about small details such as filing her nails, chewing gum or applying makeup in front of her man. It doesn’t matter how well she knows him. She is sensitive and tender yet strong and bold. When she gets angry, she can turn into a roaring lion with infuriating behavior but sexy at the same time. She is passionate about even the smallest of details such as the food that she eats. She is not a picky eater limited to just salad! When speaking with her man, she will look him straight in the eyes, giving him her undivided attention which is so very seductive.

A sex goddess cares about the men in her life

An independent escort in touch with her inner goddess is one who cares about her man but stops short of mothering him. For example, if it’s cold outside, she may suggest wearing a warmer coat but she won’t insist. If he does not heed her advice, that’s his choice!

A true sex goddess is defineds by the finer details

Every escort can be a true sex goddess. She knows how to keep her man slightly off balance and always feeling sexy and desirable by noticing and mentioning little details that turn her on. It could be the scent of his cologne, the muscle tone in his legs, how his voice turns her on when they talk on the phone or a particular lovemaking technique that drives her crazy. An escort who has mastered her inner goddess is not shy about leaving a small gift in the briefcase or coat pocket of her man. But she’ll do it infrequently, when he least expects it because she knows what a powerful aphrodisiac such a gesture can be.

Being a sex goddess takes work

Being a sex goddess goes hand in hand with being aprivate companion. Don’t worry. It takes work just like anything else. But it can be done! It takes time, planning and most of all, determination. Radiating confidence, dressing a powerful (but not overwhelming) presence and walking with strong posture oozes sex appeal. Knowing that you look fantastic and turn heads from men who desire you are empowering attributes of a sex goddess. Always remember, less is more in evoking a man’s imagination.

A sex goddess knows and accepts herself on all levels

The true marks of a sex goddess, especially as an independent escort, are maintaining emotional, spiritual and physical well being. She knows herself well, loves fearlessly, speaks with authenticity and diplomacy and knows what is right for her. She is gracious, dignified and generous.

City Girls honors the feminine divine within every one of its Club Members

All women deserve to be treated as goddesses and not just in relation to sex. All relationshipsrequire devotion and it is only then that the Gods and Goddesses are revealed in all of us.

Coping with Rejection

Rejection is a fear as real as the day. Fear is not something you can see and even if you rationalize will always return to haunt you. Fear limits our thoughts, behavior and actions. Fear motivates success and prevents failure. Fear can skew life decisions and ruin relationships. Fear is no joke and we all have it.

The key then becomes managing your fears. City Girls acknowledges the unspoken: you are about to fork out a healthy chunk of change to spend time with an angelic creature screaming perfection and you are afraid of rejection. Well, for goodness sake. Aren’t you the one in control here? She’s depending on your chunk of change to pay this month’s rent. While that may be true, fear chuckles and whispers, “Maybe you’re not good enough for her”. Ouch. Enter a torrent of eroding thoughts, the co-conspirators of fear and you’re in need of a double martini before your date (even if you don’t drink martinis). Relax. Take a deep breath. There are instantaneous and very effective ways of dealing with fear and putting it in its place. Let’s talk:

Losing Approval from others may be the most common fear

When balanced, fear of rejection can actually work in your favor and even protect you from the fear itself. Too much fear can actually cause you to lose the very thing you fear losing.

Why would she reject me?

You’ve spent quite some time carefully selecting whom you believe to be the ideal lady for you. She’s beautiful, fresh and you imagine that the two of you will hit it off. Oh, but wait. What if she doesn’t like me? What if we have nothing to talk about? Worse, what if I don’t satisfy her? Fear will deceive you into believing that these fears are real. Fear thrives on ‘end of the world’ thinking. When fear has gained your trust, you’ve got the perfect storm, so to speak and you’re finished before you begin. You feel rejected even before you’ve met!

Do not empower fear

Think through these fears and even write them down. That’s called FACING your fears and this action alone will build confidence. You’re a good guy with a good reputation and a lot to offer. Chances are excellent she’s not going to reject you because that’s your fear talking, not her. Establishing this mindset will reduce those insecurities and guess what? You will probably have an awesome time on that date! If and when you date a lady where sparks didn’t fly and the heavens didn’t part to release chariots of fire, it just means that the chemistry wasn’t there. When you abandon that ‘end of world’ thinking, fear is extinguished allowing confidence to flourish. Women find confidence very attractive.

Where do we seek reassurance?

I know what you’re thinking and I’ll admit that it’s true. Insecurity is not a light switch that can be turned off simply because you don’t want it anymore. Fears and insecurities (they’re identical twins) generally took a long time to develop, hiding out in the corners of your mind whispering negative thoughts for many years, even since childhood. Hate to say it, but reassurance doesn’t grow on trees. You simply are not going to get it from another person, a book or a therapist. You get it from you. Keep reading.

There’s nothing to fear but fear itself

Fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, fear is a false prediction that becomes true because you believe it and therefore it is. City Girls believes this wholeheartedly! Believing that your date might reject you triggers a downfall of other behaviors and emotions such as anxiety, unease, defensiveness and even anger. Approaching your encounter from a positive attitude could cause the situation to turn out completely different!

Think about how you want to feel

Come up for air. Instead of thinking about how you don’t want to feel or how you don’t want your date to see you, think about how you want to feel. Sometimes in life we miss the obvious. It’s easy to do! While this may sound silly, as a child you didn’t learn how to jump rope by telling yourself that you couldn’t do it. You wanted to do it. Think about how you want to be with future dates: relaxed, self-assured, sexy, and confident. Yeah, baby!

Distrust your own opinion

I once watched a Seinfeld episode (my ATF!) in which George (king of insecurities) decided to do the opposite in everything he did in order to attract women. It worked! Part of confidence includes being a little less sure that you know what is going to happen. It’s a kind of release. People who never question their assumptions tend to have a harder time at life. If you are SO sure that your date may not approve of you, then how come that confidence has not won you the lottery? Let go. Relax. Enjoy your date, exactly no knowing what will happen! This is the essence of life.

You have to want it

If you really want to release your fear, you will. But you must want it. Don’t let fear of rejection bury your true desires. Decide that you want to have mind bending experiences with your dates and you will see a transformation in the quality of your encounters. It really is that simple.

While these basic principles are universal, it’s nice to get an occasional reminder to untangle us from the complications of daily life. If as a hobbyist you’ve ever experience a less-than-favorable date, ask yourself why. Often, the surrounding issues go unspoken or you may abandon the dilemma all together, chalking it up as a bad date. City Girls understands these intricacies. We care about our VIP Members and want all of our members to maximize their time together for an unforgettable experience. That’s what we’re here for.